Cream of Wheat

So about two week ago I was sick and was unable to eat or anything. All I did was sleep 24/7. I was like that for a whole week. Well when I started to feel better I had to try to get food in my system and nothing was staying down at all. So I ask my daddy if he can make me some cream of wheat and he did. I am not the best person to ask to make cream of wheat but every time I try to make a bowl it never comes out like my daddy's. I just love the way how he makes it and I love his banana pancakes too! What is some of your favorite foods that you like having made by your parents?

Getting in Touch with YOUR INNER BiTcH 2/21 - 2/27

Getting in touch with your inner BITCH

February 21, 2011

An Inner BITCH shopping tip: Sales are great but that outfit is really only a bargain if it fits now, not "five pounds from now"

- Buy and live in the now not the later.

February 22, 2011

"In too many instances, the march to globalization has also meant the marginalization of woman and girls. And the must change."

-It is time for CHANGE!

February 23, 2011

Inner BITCH Food for Thought: If you put "eat chocolate" on your to-do list, you're certain to get at least one thing checked off by the end of the day.

- Chocolate is our weakness so you should go right ahead and put it on your to-do list.

February 24, 2011

An Inner BITCH Reminder: Being In touch with your Inner BITCH means always knowing what you want, what you need, and what you're willing to do to get what you want and need.

-If you talk the talk then you need to walk the walk honey.

February 25, 2011

Your Inner BITCH wants you to use the stuff you've been saving for a "special occasion" because today being Friday - and you being you - is special enough.

-Pull out those spa items that you was saving for a rough day at work take them out tonight and take a nice long bath and light some candles and listen to some slow jams and enjoy being the BITCH YOU ARE.

February 26 & 27, 2011

Your Inner BITCH wonders how long it's been since you got together with your women friends. If you can't remember, it's time to make a plan.

-I hear a girls weekend!

Have a nice and safe weekend remember getting in touch with your inner bitch does not mean you act like a bitch!

Getting in Touch with YOUR INNER BiTcH 2/14 - 2/20

Getting in touch with your inner BITCH

February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day? Your Inner Bitch would really rather get flowers, chocolate, or champagne- or all three- on a random Tuesday.

- You need to make sure that you get these things not just on Valentine's Day but on other days as well.

February 15, 2011

"Never trouble trouble 'til trouble troubles you" In other words, don't waste time worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

-It is time time to STOP worrying about what is going to happen on Wednesday and just worry about Tuesday.

February 16, 2011

Just to recap: Your Inner BITCH is smart, confident, dignified, and knows what she wants

- You to know what you want at all times.

February 17, 2011

"Sometimes, (prejudice) is like a hair across your cheek. You Can't see it, you can't find it with your fingers, but you keep brushing at it because the feel of it is irritating."

-It is time to get the irritating people out of your life.

February 18, 2011

Today is "Dance like you mean it day." Your Inner BITCH says, "Crank up the music, baby!"

-Put on your freakum dress and go out and just dance.

February 19 & 20, 2011

What would happen if we all got in touch with our Inner BITCHES? We probably really could change the world!

-Get all your BITCHES together and have a girls weekend!

Have a nice and safe weekend remember getting in touch with your inner bitch does not mean you act like a bitch!

Story Time

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd. I had quite a weekend planned ( parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him... He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "those guys are jerks." They really should get lives. He looked at me and said Hey thanks! There was a big smile in his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before... He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years Kyle and I became best friends... When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girl loved him. Boy sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.

i could see that he was nervous about the speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks ( the really grateful one) and smiled. Thanks he said. As he started his speech, he began 'Graduation is a time to thank those who help you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you an give them.

i am going to tell you a story. I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. Thankfully I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable. I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. for better or for worse.

The lesson i learned for this story is that God puts us all in each other lives to impact one another in some way. And that sometimes it is good to look for God in others.

Time spent in Pittsburgh

So I have been in Pittsburgh for a week now, and I am having the time of my life.

Not only am I hanging out with a great friend of mine Tierra but I am also getting to spend time with her daughter Taylor.

Even though this little grown girl gives me the most high I love her as if she was my own.

Spending time with her also made me realize that I want to wait to have kids. It is a lot of work to raise a baby and even more work to do it on your own. I have so much respect for Tierra for raising her daughter on her own. She has the help of family and friends but it still is hard.

I got to see a lot of first things with Taylor.

Her first time eating baby food.

Her first valentine's day.

Her first time seeing her God dad Leland on I Chat.

And her first ear infection.

I must give Taylorlynn a big high five because even though she has an ear infection she was still a happy baby bipolor (inside joke) but happy. Seeing what a mother has to go through to care for a sick child is a lot of work. I must say that it is true that single mothers do get most of the credit and now I see why.

But I will say this with every thing that I am going through I am really having a good time here in Pittsburgh and being around Tierra's family is really making me forget about what is going on back home.

Getting in Touch with YOUR INNER BiTcH 2/7 - 2/13

Getting in touch with your inner BITCH

February 7, 2011

"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches"

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

- It is time time to fill up those water bottles and empty the soda bottles. And scratch the palm of your hand because I smell money coming your way this week.

February 8, 2011

What could be better than the inner BITCH doubled? Or tripled, quadrupled, increased exponentially? Think of the energy created when string women get together?

-It is time for strong women to come together and take a stand or make a difference in life and sometimes that just means you have to get in touch with your inner BITCH!

February 9, 2011

An inner Bitch Reminder: "Bitch" rhymes with "rich." Think about it.

- Lets get rich bitch! LOL

February 10, 2011

An inner bitch History Lesson: On this date in 1675 (maybe 1676), Mary Rowlandson was taken captive by Native Americans. She later wrote the first "captivity narrative" about the experience, becoming the frist bestselling author in the United States.

-It is nice to take the time out to learn a little history!

February 11, 2011

Your inner BTICH knows there are probably plenty of things on your to-do list; she just wants to make sure at least some of those things involve pleasing the most important person in you life- YOU

-What number are YOU on YOUR to-do list.

February 12 & 13, 2011

Taking care of business, inner BTICH style: As Abraham Lincoln once said, "Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today"

-Make sure you got every thing done on your to-do list DONE!

Have a nice and safe weekend remember getting in touch with your inner bitch deos not mean you act like a bitch!

Getting in Touch with YOUR INNER BiTcH 1/31 - 2/6

Getting in touch with YOUR inner BITCH!

January 31, 2011:

Today is "Think Positive Day" Banish all negative thoughts about yourself. Repeat as necessary.

- Ladies it is time to STOP thinking negative about yourself. Take the negative and replace it with ALL positive the sooner you do this the better you will feel about yourself.

February 1, 2011

When the going gets tough, your inner BITCH asks: "A problem or an opportunity?" Then she decides how best to respond.

-When things get tough in your life (which will often happen) you have to either see that problem as a problem or an opportunity. Now if you are not seeing this as an opportunity you are still not in touch with your inner BITCH yet!

February 2, 2011

Your inner BITCH knows that , shadow or no shadow, winter is going to last however long it lasts.

-PUT THE SPRING JACKET BACK IN YOUR CLOSET!!! IT IS NOT TIME YET!

February 3, 2011

Your inner BITCH wants you to keep this one simple rule in mind at all times: You deserve the best and nothing less.

-If you are still second guessing yourself go out and buy a nice pair of expensive shoes and tell yourself you deserve nothing but the best.

February 4, 2011

"Remember, lust makes you stupid"

-Nicole Hollander

That's why your inner BITCH wants you to ask, "What am I thinking?" before you hop into bed with someone.

-If your so in lust with him and thinking about giving up the goods earlier than expeciated, wait about 2 weeks and see how he treats you. If you feel like a queen that you are after those two weeks then get your freak on gurl! (PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE SEX)

February 5 & 6, 2011

Your inner BITCH knows that satisfying one's curiosity is a good thing. Perhaps start with finding out just what Waitangi Day is all about.

-Go and find out what Waitangi Day is all about. I did!

Have a nice and safe weekend remember getting in touch with your inner bitch deos not mean you act like a bitch!

The Run Down

So this has been a crazy week for me. And the week is not even over yet! I had to come to terms with a lot of things. My life is taking a major turn yet again and this time I have to cut back on a few things in order to keep afloat in this thing called life. January is about to come to a close and I feel that I'm doing the things I set out for myself. So here is the run down:

First things First Weight:

I have not been working out as much as I should have but I am eating a little more healthier. So that is always a good thing right? Me and some of my family members are going to Cancun, Mexico. So my goal is to be bathing suit ready by then. I know I can do it. (please keep in mind i said bathing suit ready and not a two piece) I'm trying to go down 4 sizes! YES YOU READ IT RIGHT 4. So lets say so if I was a size 10 that means a size 4 is what I would be going down to. So just pray for me. As always I am willing to work out with people just as long as you not running. I can do the light jogging (outdoors only. I don't like running on the treadmill).

Second:

Last week I was in such a slump that my home girl Bobby came to visit me and bring some cheer to me. So I cook dinner and we played some Just Dance 2 and MJ on Wii. It was a lot of fun to have her around. I found out that when she is at home all she does is watch cartoons (what a big ass kid). But it was what I needed to get out of my slump. Sometimes God just knows the right people to place in your life at the right time. And I thank God everyday for the people that are in my life.

Third:

I said to myself I was going to start getting in touch with my inner BITCH. I think my blog is the perfect place to do. Not sure how I'm going to do it yet but stay on the look out for that.

Breaking Point

I'm real close to that BREAKING POINT with just about everything! I think the only thing that is getting me through the days is music and my very close but expensive friend Henny!

Why I Cry Alone

Very few people have seen me cry.

To many people I may seem like the type of person that does not cry often. Truth of the matter is I cry very often. More than people may know.

I cry when I'm happy,

I cry when I'm sad,

I cry when things don't go my way,

I cry when I have lost a loved one,

I cry from a broken heart,

I cry because I miss my grandmother,

I cry because I love him and I wonder if he loves me back,

I cry because at times I feel lost,

I cry because I'm free,

I cry because I'm over weight,

I cry from laughing so hard,

I cry because I love God,

I cry from watching a touching movie,

I cry alone because I don't want people to see me at my worst. Growing up in my family I have come custom that if you cry it is a sign of weakness and not having it together. So for many years I have cried alone I never even really called anyone crying. One day I hope and pray that I get to share my tears with someone that is willing to hear me cry and not take it for granted or use it against me. Until then I will continue to cry alone.

To Perm or Not to Perm that is the question

OK so it I can't really remember the last time I put a perm in my hair but I am way over due for another one! I am now thinking if I should join the "natural hair club" or stick with my creamy crack! I was thinking if I don't get a perm that I would put a weave in my hair to protect it while it is going though "THE CHANGE"!

I have a fear that if I go natural it is not going to look right on me. I have been going so long with a perm I'm not sure if I would even know how to do my hair if it was natural. But I am going to weigh out my options and do my research on everything. I am in no rush to make a choice now but I guess we will find out soon enough.

It is time

So the other day I was on facebook and seen this Video on my friend Lynessa status feed.

When I seen this video and what it is about it brought tears to my eyes.

I have friends that are close to me and gay. And it brings so much pain to my heart that they are being judge by the same people that was friends with them before they came "out".

I feel that we as a whole need to come together and STOP hating against one another.

It is 2011 and this should be the year to change all of this hating.

Some people may say it is easier to judge a book by its cover but you will never know what that book is about unless you open it and READ THE WORDS and understand the author!

Dance with my father

So last week Saturday I went to a party with my father. And while he was getting it in on the dance floor getting down with his bad St. Kitts self! Me and my father did something we have not done in a while. WE HAD FUN TOGETHER!!!

While I was loving watching my father dance is ass off! I started to think how much more fun he would be having if my mother was alive! Even though my mother was not there to enjoy her self I shared a dance with my father and it was like my mother was dancing with my father again! I don't have that many fun memories with my father but I think my dancing with my father comes in second place! I pray that I will get that dance with him again once I get married!

Guess Who is Back

I'm Back!!!! I know I have been gone for way too long. But I'm back and I have a lot to tell you. First things first HAPPY NEW YEAR! I plan to make this new year better than the last! For the new year I said I was going to get closer with God and develop a better relationship with him. I would also like to get a better understanding of the bible so I plan on taken some bible study classes. Some of the things I plan on implementing in the New Year I kinda started that early than I wanted to. But you know what they say there is no time better than the present! I am done with the dieting (will explain in a later blog). I am just going to eat more healthier things. And last but not least have God continue to work on me to being a better me!

Well On My Way

So this morning while I was up since 5:15am, and there was no chance of me going back to sleep. I decided I was going to work out in my room. BUT before I was going to do that I said let me weigh myself to see if I had lost any weight. Now I did not think I lost anything because I was not really doing much. Too much of my surprise I hop my ass of the scale bare ass and all and looked down at the number! Now when I seen what weight I was I had to step off and step back on because I did not believe what I was seeing! So I step back on and off four more times and seen the number was not changing! I LOST 10LBS EVERYBODY! I am so happy about the progress I am making. It may be a slow progress but I am in no rush to look like a super skinny model! So with that good news I am now off to go and work out and burn some fat!

Bamboozled

I have been bamboozled y'all! The other day I went into Rite Aid and was just shopping around for a few items. Well I came across a snuggie that was on sale! I brought it so that when I around the house I can feel kinda warm. Because lets face it if you know me you should know I don't like to wear clothes to bed or around the house! I get home and I am really excited about my snuggie I open that box and much to my surprised it was not what I expected! First of all I thought the snuggie was something you put over your head and it drapes down! WRONG! Second of all the fabric for the one that got is kinda thin. What blanket you know is kinda thin? I really felt like taken it back but I can use it for the times that I am in bed and don't want to be under my covers or I'm sitting up doing some arts and craft stuff. So if you are looking to get a snuggie for someone for Christmas DON'T!

Sleeping with Men

Ladies have you ever slept with someone as a couple and they are a wild sleeper? Well a few nights ago I experience that for the very first time ever! I mean I've slept with some wild people before but that is only with my king (my nephew) but never with someone I'm dating.

So first of all he was sick to begin with which had me concern because he was having cold sweats so I lost sleep due to that. And then he slept on his back which made him snore all because he could to breath through his nose that added on to me not being able to sleep properly due to me being a light sleeper! And then last but not least he kept on tossing and turning in the bed which i guess made him forget that I was even in the be with him. By this point I'm fully awake and on facebook and talking to my cousin on BBM because I just could not get no break in even trying to get some sleep. And we had to be up by 6am. I am gonna give him a past this time because he was sick and all and I know that is not the way how he normally sleeps. But it was something that brothered me because someone ask me did I have a good nights sleep cause I look very well rested. And no they was not playing! I just look at that person and told them hell no.

My sister told me once you sleep with someone for a while you get use to there sleeping habits. You know what I say about that? Like hell I will! I am the type of sleeper that once I'm sleep and comfortable I can stay in that position the whole night. I'm not down for the tossing and the turning! If I go to sleep with you holding me at night that is the same way I expect to wake up, unless I'm waking up to the smell of him cooking breakfast.

Tell me about some of your sleeping habits or sleeping stories!

Update

UPDATE TIME PEOPLE

So since I came out the closet and admitted that I have a problem with my weight, I have been trying to take the proper steps to reclaiming in getting my health back!

I have been doing good. I have cheated BUT I'm right back on track. I am unable to go to the gym but I do try to work out in the convince of my own home. And by work out I mean while I'm cleaning my house and dancing my ass off.

NOW I went on the scale the other day and it said I lost 2lbs! Now you may be saying that is nothing! Well screw you it means a lot to me. I'm 2lbs lighter damn it! That means Tango (my favorite stripper name) can do ever more lifts with me the next time I see him. I also have see a little change in my body since my journey has began. I have also noticed me smiling and waking up so much more happy now a days (well part of it has to do with my new beginning and the old/new someone back in my life) that's a whole another blog entry.

I also gave myself a new goal in June my family and I are gong away to the islands somewhere and I want to be in a bathing suit without have to have a shirt or shorts over it. I have lots of time and lots of work and I believe I will do it with the strength of God and the support of my friends and family.

I will also like to Thank everyone that has been giving me support and telling me that I can do it. I am doing it, I'm still doing it, And I'm not gonna quit until I'm done doing it. So thank you!!!!!

Love

So it is no secret that I am dating someone who I truly am in high likes with from the bottom of my heart. Now this guy I have known for a while and we have dated on and off. We both realized what we was doing to hurt each other and have also grown up in many ways. I have been spending some time with him. I must say that every time I do see him it is like a breath of fresh air. Now a few of my friends know the history behind us and wants me to take things extra slow and not expect anything to become of this. But you know when you get the feeling somewhere in your body that everything is going to work for the better? Well that is the feeling I have been having.

Now anyone that knows me, knows that yes I am a bitch most of the time but deep down inside that I am a sucker for love. When I love I love big and hard. I'm not trying to put a date on a wedding or anything for that matter. But I do believe that he is and always has been the perfect one for me. The question that lies unanswered for me is am I the perfect person for him? I may never know the answer to that question. And I'm ok with that for now. I do know one things is for sure I don't mind taken this ride with him. I figure that it is best to open your heart and true love will eventually find it's way in right? I'm big on taken chances but not normally when it comes to my feelings. I have been hurt one too many times and not with just guys even with my family. So I had to learn to close my feeling off to people and shut down. I built this wall that is so high it is hard even for me to brake it down. However little by little some of the bricks are falling down due extreme weather changes within my self.

I had to learn to love my self before anyone else could love me. And I can't say I'm 100% in love with my self yet but I am enjoying the time spent getting to love me. I would like to say I was lost and needed direction. But that will be a lie. I was never lost I was just taken off of God's path for a little minute but I'm finding my way back to him, and I think in the mist of it all God is allowing me to see things more clearly when it comes to love and relationships. After all it did take him 6 days to create earth right? So how can I expect to be 100% in love with my self if I'm still a work in progress?

These Are A Few Of My favorite Things

These are just a few of my favorite things I would like this year! Hint Hint too all the boyfriends and friends out there! This is the season for giving! (yes I do have a bible but I want a purple one)